I know that many people have perceptions of what Autism
“looks like”,
but we have our own perception of it here at the Mouse House.
Autism means that we don’t deal with “typical” issues on a day-to-day basis. We deal with lots of tantrums and fights. Possibly bruises and bites and screaming fits.
Autism also means lots of hugs and love and snuggles.
Ethan loves to pretend he is a bunny.
He loves to give kisses and hugs like a bunny.
I take what I can get.
We also understand that small triumphs are huge!
Sharing toys or being nice mean a lot.
Acting like a typical 5 year old gets you extra points!
I assume this is why we don’t get invited to a lot of playdates???
Sometimes people are scared of kids on the spectrum, that is okay! I get it!
Ethan refers to himself as “The Number King” haha.
He even writes it on his papers at school.
I don’t have the heart to correct him yet!
In fact, I am so proud of how academically ahead he is!
He can apparently count to one million (or so he says)
However, he is so far behind socially and we struggle.
I wish there was more we could do.
I feel terrible. I try so hard, I really really do.
It has been a long road.
I get hit a lot.
I get yelled at A LOT. Like a whole lot.
However, he is the nicest kid ever. Honestly. He WANTS you to like him so much. He is one of the sweetest kids I have ever met.
I am his Mama Bear.
And I want the world for him.
I just don’t know how to give him that!
I hug him every morning before school and I say “I love you” and I don’t know if he will ever understand that term fully.
I love you Ethan, even though you may never fully understand how I feel. You are my pride and joy. I was meant to be here for you and you will do amazing things.
Hayley
Hayley Crouse is a wife, mother and multifaceted designer. Her love of sewing, crafting, cooking and interior design infuses her daily life and naturally spills over into her online presence. She pushes the envelope of her creativity and hopes that others will be inspired to do the same. She currently authors the Welcome to the Mouse House Blog, is the pattern designer behind Mouse House Creations and is a collaborative designer with Willow & Co. Patterns.
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I, too, have a red-haired, blue-eyed boy on the spectrum and live the same days as you. We don’t get invited over, either, and even in third grade he doesn’t have someone to play with everyday at recess. But I keep trying. How could I not? Everyday I have to think of new and creative ways to communicate, to reassure, to discipline. And I have to remind myself that just because he doesn’t fit in today, in another five or ten years I may look back and forget that it ever used to be this hard.
Keep the faith.
My son is 7 and very low functioning- non-verbal and VERY behavioral. I understand about the getting hit! We also don’t get to do many playdates which is really hard for my other kids. Unfortunately it is just one of those things. We can’t go to people’s houses because he will break thing (100% certain) and my daughter’s friends are a little afraid of him – and with good reason. There is a strong chance he will throw something at them.Is your son mainstreamed? Mine isn’t because he has significant cognitive impairment along with the autism.
All we can do is keep trying!
Best wishes!
Thank you for sharing. I teach third grade and the last few years there has been at least one child, out of three classes of 28 students, on the spectrum. I wish more parents would help us understand life from their child’s (and their) point of view. The classroom can be a difficult environment for mainstreamed students. Each child is unique and knowing what helps or what to avoid is invaluable.
I would love to have you and Ethan (and Ainsley) over for a playdate. That part made me sad. You are such a good mama.
Hayley, this brought me to tears. How I want to hug you. You are amazing.